Let’s run some updates, shall we?
In these past few weeks, I took a monk mindset and moved to the mountains of my head. I could no longer bear being on social media, which I usually avoid anyway, but Twitter became truly unbearable. I felt the need to just disappear—there was too much noise.
During my incursion into the unknown, I finally stopped wasting my time (what a funny concept) and focused on things I truly wanted to do but hadn’t yet. It was fun, a bit lonely, also a bit like going without your favorite drug. You see, social media is really akin to crack—you dislike it when you’re on it, and you dislike it when you're without it. There’s no win-win, it’s all a zero-sum game.
I had the urge to scroll for just one more minute, even knowing it was mindless and utterly unsatisfying. I couldn’t stand to read a full page of a book without thinking about it. So much distraction, aside from my own distractions. But then something occurred, like a Nietzschean curse: I saw myself as this weak animal who couldn’t bear to be away from a favorite toy. Many might say Nietzsche was a bit too edgy, but you see, he did solve the problem of meaninglessness, and I tend to agree and admire his philosophy. He was a true anti-nihilist, and I profoundly admire people who can fight the absurd.
Taking this into account, I began to stop thinking about all the meaningless trash that usually clogs the feeds, little by little. I went back to studying things I love—drawing, anatomy, color, art history. I studied other things too. After all, knowing just one subject is frankly crazy. This led me to recognize how much of a guinea pig I was being—like an MKUltra patient. Twitter and the art space lobotomize you, make you think things that aren't real. They make you care about how the next scam protocol will lead you to success (hah!).
They make you care about people who don’t care about you and forget the ones who do. It’s easy to get lost, to be seduced by promises, to be deceived by perception. These things aren’t essential to art, you see. The only thing essential to art is you, the creator, dear reader.
So why do we insist on being tested?
Maybe I’m being too much of a schizo. Maybe I just dislike contact with people. Who knows? But you have to agree, social media skews your perception. When you lock yourself inside, you start to discover you can create. But when you're loose in the pool of piss that is some parts of the internet, you become part of the soup of trash.
Your mind starts to wander, your senses are diluted, your taste becomes simple, common, and permeated by common sense. There’s no space for creativity, only factory-like production of the same—the same old shit, the same palettes, the same themes, the same unskilled but loved mediocrity.
It’s the LCL of all things unremarkable. Boring, boring, utterly boring.
It’s a depression of the senses. But don’t despair; when you decide to wake up, you’ll find places that don’t operate by this flawed logic. And, god willing, the mind will expand.
Other than avoiding social media, I haven’t been doing much. I’ve been sticking to drawing and painting, but I’m also getting more and more into Python. I managed to create some cool programs that are art-related, and it’s been really, really fun.
I watched two movies this week that I’d like to recommend to my lovely audience: The Substance and Dinner in America. The first is a body horror with an amazing screenplay. The practical effects are insane, and it’s so fun to watch with a deep critique of beauty and womanhood. Certified 5 stars.
As for Dinner in America, it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a contemporary take on romance, and it’s just too cute to miss.
I’ve also been finishing some Junji Ito mangas, and I’m truly in love with Black Paradox. The last manga I read was Berserk, and after a YEAR (lol), I’m finally getting into other things. I truly can’t handle another depressing manga like that.
Music-wise, I’ve been obsessed with Nine Inch Nails, and I really think Year Zero is one of the best concept albums ever made. How they took dystopian/cyberpunk ideas and turned them into that? I don’t know, but it works so well. You definitely should listen if you like industrial.
Magdalena Bay’s new Imaginary Disk has been turning up in my studio recently. Its mellow pop, happy, twee dreamy sounds make me smile, and it’s truly good.
Lastly, as I’m sure you noticed, I’ve been reading a lot of philosophy. Beyond Good and Evil has been a fun read, but I’m also adoring Thomas Ligotti’s The Conspiracy Against the Human Race. I’m not an antinatalist, but I really like the way he writes and fundamentally hates having consciousness. No space for romances or other literature, but I’m thinking about reading more Dostoevsky in the coming weeks—maybe The Idiot.